Fall Back

I live in Philadelphia. For the past four days our city's public transportation union workers have been on strike sending thousands of bus, train and subway riders to the streets on their bikes, in their cars and on their feet. I consider myself lucky being a typical subway rider who also has a car at my disposal. However, the change in routine has certainly shifted my view (as most routine changes tend to do).

Since I've been parking my car more than 10 blocks away from my office, then walking, I've had the chance to absorb Fall more fully than I would have in the subway car. The air is finally more crisp and the leaves in the city are prettier than I remember. I always thought I had to drive to the country to see these colors, but the trees in the city highlight the gray buildings and compliment the vibrant people.

Driving in my car has also given me the option to listen to early morning radio; a treat I don't usually take advantage of. NPR has the power to uplift and also (as typical news stations tend to do), make me sad. A story today reported that the unemployment rate has risen to 11%. The majority of the unemployed are men, due to the nature of their business (construction, auto industry and finance), and women are providing for their families by working jobs in more nurturing industries (nurses, teachers) that have not been as effected by the economy. Knowing this strengthened my gratitude for my job (which I also happen to love), but also brought up feelings of confusion about our city's workers who have been given jobs but are choosing not to work in them. Where did we go wrong?

The union workers have been offered a bonus, raises, and no increase in their health insurance contribution; yet, negotiations are still in the works. Although I'm sure there is more to the strike, it surely sounds like these workers feel under-appreciated for their time and would like to receive the benefits to which they feel they're entitled; maybe not every union worker feels this way. On the commuter's end, we want to have public transportation available to us when we put the token in the slot. Do we really care about who's driving the bus or the train? We may just be more focused on the newspaper we're reading or the smelly person sitting next to us. Could it be that there is an overall jaded attitude? An under-appreciation for the jobs we have but also for what workers provide for us?

It's times like this when I want to urge our community to consider our country's past, how lucky we are that so many helpful programs have been put into place, and evaluate how much is really quite enough. If we can't have more (more benefits, more money, a cheap ride to wherever we want to go), don't many of us still have enough?

Enjoy!
Julie

And then there was Buddha...

At my Catholic high school, my favorite choice of uniform (yes, we had a choice!) was my plaid skirt (opposed to the grey kilt), with a white oxford shirt, white knee socks and platform penny loafers (no pennies). Look past my penny loafers, and let me tell you that along with the dress code of Catholicism came a wealth of religious knowledge: I could rattle off the gospels in my sleep (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John), received four out of the seven Holy Sacraments (I used to pretend I was chewing the host before 2nd grade), and  recite the Hail Mary in Spanish. 

Though I wouldn't currently consider myself a practicing Catholic, I still take pride in the community in which I spent so many years of my youth. From little on up, I went to church on Sundays and didn't eat meat on the Fridays of Lent. I often miss the traditions that truly did shape my life but, beyond that, I now marvel at the wealth of religious information I obtained during those years. It was never a choice to learn about Jesus, the Bible and the saints (until I was old enough to decide for myself, sometime shortly near the end of high school), and years were spent in classrooms and in a community of people bound by ties of rosaries and Our Father's. Remembering those times are good memories for me, not at all bound by hostility or contempt. My path has just lead me to explore other thoughts and beliefs systems and, yes, other religions and spiritual communities. 

According to Wiki, Buddhism is "a family of beliefs and practices variously described as religious, spiritual and philosophical." Though truly familiar with "3 in 1" concepts (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit anyone?), perhaps it's the complexity of the system and openness of interpretation in Buddhism (that I personally feel Catholicism lacked), that presents a challenge for me as I navigate the newness of this belief system and trade the path of schooling from 18 years in a classroom to 18 pages of "Awakening the Buddha Within" on the subway ride to work. 

Wiki goes on to further explain that, "Buddhists use various methods to liberate themselves and others from the suffering of worldly existence. These include: ethical conduct and altruism; devotional practices; ceremonies; the invocation of bodhisattvas; renunciation; meditation; the cultivation of mindfulness and wisdom; and physical exercises." Anyone who has been following my blog knows that I am a big supporter of mindfulness and at least try to put it into practice. Meditation is also something I've dabbled in (I twice attended meditation classes at the local Shambhala Meditation Center, after both times feeling rejuvenated and relaxed, during one time being asked to perform an exercise where I listened to a complete stranger speak about anything they wanted for 5 minutes while looking them straight in the eye without nodding, smiling, or politely saying 'mmm-hmm, that's nice, tell me more'. It was an exercise on listening and actually had an eye opening effect - try it!) Similarly, anyone who has been following me in real life knows that I practice (and practice, practice) yoga at least 3 times a week, so I love that Buddhism acknowledges physical exercise as a tool for spiritual growth. 

I suppose it's the rest I'm curious about - the devotional practices and ceremonies, the invocation of bodhisattvas (I can't really even remember what those are, even though I just read about that today!) and Buddhist history in general (although there is even more than one branch of Buddhism!) Some parts I get, some parts I don't. 

However, I may take it upon myself to assume that Buddha would respect and bless an ability to recognize what is good for you and what may not be good for you at this time. I feel that beliefs can be taken from a spiritual buffet -   a little meditation and physical activity on this plate and perhaps a little renunciation in that bowl; a little Sunday mass mixed lightly with mantras for dessert. Can I combine the traditions of the religion of my youth with new ideas I learn about the spiritual and religious beliefs of cultures and community in which I am less familiar, but can relate to certain ways? I think so. I think I've always thought so. Thus my hesitation to ever call myself one thing or the other. But I've always been the variety show kind of girl. 

I'm still learning about Buddhism. Perhaps I'm learning about it in hopes of learning more about myself, or to reestablish a sense of spiritual community, or for the comforting ideas it provides me, such as this one:

Leave everything as it is in fundamental simplicity, and clarity will arise by itself. Only by doing nothing will you do all there is to be done...

- Khyentse Rinpoche

Or prayers, such as this:

May all beings be happy, content , and fulfilled.

May all beings be healed and whole.

May all have whatever they want and need. 

May all be protected from harm, and free from fear. 

May all beings enjoy inner peace and ease.

May all be awakened, liberated, and free. 

May there be peace in this world, and throughout the entire universe. 

Amen, Namaste, Hallelujah, Om Shanti Shanti Shati. 

Enjoy!

Julie

Post Script: I went to yoga class in between writing this entry. At the end of every practice you sit with your legs crossed, bow your head, and bring your hands to your heart to give thanks. Admittedly I had been letting my mind wander about writing this piece and the similarities and possible combinations of the religious beliefs I've been exploring. So I crossed, bowed, and instead of bring my hands to my heart I unconsciously folded them into prayer...just like I did when I used to wear my favorite plaid skirt. 

 

Message From a Friend

I recently rekindle a lovely friendship with someone I went to college with. We bonded over dorm room TV show marathons, 8 am (in our senior year!) English classes, and harsh criticism from southern writing professors. He's always made me laugh and gave me material for jokes that never came to mind when I fed off any of my other friends! He, himself, is an immensely talented writer; a observant, humorous - albeit deliciously sarcastic - artist with the ability to paint a picture with words that always leave you smiling. He always knew what he wanted - to be a screenwriter - and didn't take any shortcuts to get to the place he felt he needed to be to make this happen - California. The competitive LA streets led him to jobs that created a colorful resume, many interesting people, and even more interesting stories (material?). Recently, his two year stint in the west led him back to his hometown of Philadelphia - and blankly left him asking, Now What?

He's reminded me that the Now What times we're bound to experience throughout our lives can be both frustrating and exciting. Terrifying and relaxing. Leaving you on the edge of a either a breakdown or the precipice of a fulfilling beginning. I'm so proud of him and excited too. Proud because he's the kind of person that won't just sit on the (literal) couch (read below). Excited because I have discovered, first hand, how acceptance and presence can transform your life and is sure to change his.

Below is my response to a note he wrote me and something I wanted to share because it both reminded me of where I was at this time a year ago and how far I've come, as well as the beliefs that got me here.

Dear Friend:

Wow - I seriously have goosebumps all over arms and legs. I'm really, truly glad that you were open-minded enough to pick up that book and consider another way of looking at things.

I can say this now that you are considering this perspective - that book, those concepts changed me. In a really good way. It was kind of the first domino that started the chain of spiritual and "earthly" events that I observe everyday. It is beyond comforting to accept the idea that the "universe", "god", "energy" - whatever you want to call it - is on "our side". Because, well, the universe, god and energy IS us. It's in us, it is us, it is around us.

People say that they don't believe in destiny or fate because, what, we can just sit on our couch and life will happen to us? No. And yes.

In a literal sense - you can't sit on a couch for a significant portion of your lifetime; at some point you have to get up. But, in a way, we actually do only have to sit on that proverbial couch - we don't have to DO anything but just be in the moment we're in - be, observe, don't pass judgement, feel instead of think.

But since we're human, of course, some action is required. Jobs don't apply for themselves. Travels aren't booked without your doing. A relationship isn't maintained without a phone call. But humans tend to constantly ruminate about decisions and possibilities and relationships, big and small. Your job application follows you to the grocery store line, to the dinner table, to merge lane on the highway. Of course we have to think and do but We never STOP thinking about doing, even when we're in a place where nothing can be done - i.e. the grocery store or the dinner table!

Wouldn't a better idea be to say - there's my desk, I have an hour. I am going to spend this hour applying for jobs. I will put all of my thought and creative energy into this task, this moment, these moments where I'm working on this project. And when the hour is over - when you are done applying for those jobs - you get up from your desk. You walk away. And you stop thinking about it. You move on to whatever you want to do next - and you are there. You are in your backyard reading a book and you are not thinking about the job - because what can you do about the job while your on your chair in the backyard? If you make the decision to observe, accept, feel in the very moment, in the very place you are living your life in that second- you will become aware of what you want the next step - of your morning, of your day, in you life - to be; and you know what the next step should be because it FEELS "right". 

(Human beware - the mind convinces us otherwise. It gives us "logical" reasons to think that our idea or want is silly - but that's the ego. The ego THINKS instead of FEELS. And that's the challenge of being human!)

So what Eckhart Tolle is getting at, I think, is that when we are in the present moment, when we are aware, it helps us ignore that pesty ego, that pesty reason and logic. Instead, we are in tune - we become content - we become quiet so that there is no noise disrupting the connection between all the energy that IS, in, and around us. 

The phenomenon I still admire is that when we "give up" dictating how we're going to get what we want, whatever we truly want then happens. But, really, we don't give up - we just let go...of what our mind is telling us should happen, and start listening to something much bigger than that.

Enjoy!

Julie